Sponsorship
Dear Daily Juice Company, Harris Farm and Berri,
I would like to apply for sponsorship from you for the birth of my child, Peanut. I am basing this on my longstanding devotion to your juices, particularly orange, of which I having been consuming up to 8 litres a week of late.
In fact, I am pretty sure my child is not swimming in amniotic fluid, but a a tasty orange cocktail - with lots of pulp, i love pulp. It is in fact quite likely that Peanut will be born orange, or at least a tinge thereof.
As such a loyal customer, I would like to request some t-shirts, kegs of juice, and other such juice related goodness. Perhaps an unlimited supply of orange juice for the remainder of my pregnancy would be greatly appreciated, especially given that you charge $7 for two litres. I average a litre a day, so that is $24.50 per week of my wage goes directly to you, which equates to $980 over the course of this pregnancy.
C’mon, a grand in orange juice alone? surely that deserves a t-shirt.. or a voucher.. or a medal or something!!!?
I have not yet worked out how this arrangement will benefit you… I’ll get back to you on that.
In short, can you please just chuck some free juice my way because its costing me a freaking fortune!
Yours sincerely,
Alexandra Hill
xxx
me
